'Wanna die?'

I learned a long time ago never to argue with a woman. It's futile. She'll win anyway. She always does.

No, this isn't an a tirade against feminism. This is simply in reaction to a film that reinforces this notion.

Enter "My Sassy Girl" (or "Yupgi Girl" {[or "Yeopgijeogin geunyeo", if you understand Korean}), a Korean
romantic comedy filmed produced in 2001. In the great tradition of noontime "Chinovelas", it's a mushy, feel-good treat that features women who sport trendy outfits, look real nice, and talk funny. (Okay, so I forgot to turn on the English subtitles the first time -- I was too engrossed with Jeon Ji-hyun {I had to look this up} , the sassy girl.)

The story is about a young man who just wanted to meet the right girl, instead he ended up meeting a weird and sassy one. He sort of saved her from a mishap, got into trouble when she barfed on a train passenger who mistook him for her boyfriend, then landed in jail when police raided the hotel they stayed in.

And that starts him for the ride of his life. The girl was sweet, after a fashion. Her fits of temper, constant bullying and unpredictable -- oftentimes antisocial, bordering on the sociopathic, moodswings -- were cute, specially when she hits the guy for no apparent reason. (Ooohhh, girls love that, don't they?) And, of course, there's her favorite expression: 'Wanna die?' (I'm sure the original Korean is much more graphic, but it's funny nevertheless.).

Despite the tough-cookie and rambunctious facade, inside lies a hurting sensitive woman who cannot get over a past love, so much so that she starts fashioning the guy into the past guy's image -- physical and mental torture notwithstanding.

The guy doesn't complain, though, because she does it in such an endearing way that she can get away with anything. In fact, she can do
anything because it just is. "You know why the sky is blue? I like it to be blue, so it is. You know why the fire is hot? It's all for me. I want it to be hot so it is." You get the point. Also, it helps that she's drop-dead gorgeous.

The film plays along nicely -- there are even parodies, like that of Wong Kar-wai's Ashes in Time, countless martial arts flicks, and an ingenious one: a parody of itself. She's a budding writer, who uses her weird, mostly wacky, screenplays as a form of escape and therapy. So for one particular instance, she wanted him to submit the screenplay to a film company ("Shin Cine", the film's producing outfit), even specifying the cast "Jeong Ji-hyun [that's her] is okay, too.").

It presents nothing spectacular, but the film is a light-hearted good-for-dates one that defies genres. Although it got a bit mushy and melodramatic near the ending, all in all, the engaging plot twist at the end saved it from being a sop. The fast pace and acute timing of funny scenes (which bordered on the slapstick at times) more than made up for some inconsistencies. A talented not-just-another-pretty-face actor in the cast also helped. Jeon won
the Best Actress trophy for her portrayal in this film as a lady who uses her brash behavior to hide her heartbreak.

No eternal truths nor earth-shattering ideas here. Who needs those anyway, when you've known the truth all along, when dealing with
women: that they always -- this never fails -- get what they want. The guy outlines this in his advice to the girl's blind date, right before they separated:

1. Don't ask her to be feminine.


2. Don't let her drink more than three glasses [of alcoholic beverages], she'll beat someone.


3. On dates, drink coffee, not Coke or juice.


4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts, act like it doesn't.


5. On your 100th day together, give her a rose during her class. She'll like it a lot.


6. Learn fencing and squash.


7. Also, be prepared to go to jail sometimes.


8. If she says she'll kill you, don't take it lightly. You'll feel better.


9. If her feet hurts, exchange shoes with her.


10. Finally, she likes to write. Encourage her.

That pretty well sum up how to deal with women, specially sassy girls.